For more information and supporting action on the Parking Authority campaign, please contact parentsunitedphila@gmail.com > Parents United for Public Education.

The Parking Authority Grinch: A Fable
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked decent schools a lot . . .

But the PPA,
Which wanted a fleet of SUVs for itself,
Did NOT!

The PPA hated public scrutiny! The whole budget perusin’!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that its salaries and pensions had taken a good bite.
It could be, perhaps, that its payroll was outta sight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that its sense of shame was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
The PPA, after all, looked like fools,
Sat there at public meetings, ignoring the schools.
It stared down from its patronage seat, with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the earnest parents and families who represented the town.
For the PPA knew every child in the schools below
Deserved far more than it was willing to show.

"And they're asking for books!" the PPA snarled with a sneer.
"A lower class size, music every year!”
Then it growled, with its grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep our cash flow from running!"
For, tomorrow, the PPA knew . . .

. . . All the Who girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd protest with voice!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing it hated! A grassroots NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

And THEN
They'd do something the PPA liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, joined hand-in-hand
And demand justice for kids as the law of the land.

And the more the PPA thought of the Who-Justice-thing
The more the PPA thought, "I must avoid this whole thing!
"Why for six years I've gotten away with it now!
I MUST stop this public scrutiny . . .
But HOW?"

Then it got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE PPA
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" the PPA laughed in its throat.
And doubled up the payroll with barely a note.
With seven layers of management and six-figure salaries,
A $25 holiday party for the working employees,
$46 million in cash in the bank,
Ensured that the on-street revenues would tank.
And the PPA chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With political friends, this should work right quick!"

"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" the PPA was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no funding for schools is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"All the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the PPA,
"That I simply must hear!"
So it put a hand to its ear.
And the PPA did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow . . .
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded angry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS angry! VERY!

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was standing behind their kids with a unified call!
The PPA HADN'T stopped justice from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the PPA, with its grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without political pull! It came without power!
"It came despite media attention that grew every hour!"
And it puzzled for weeks `till its puzzler was sore.
Then the PPA thought of something it hadn't before!
"Maybe public decency," it thought, "really does have a floor.
"Maybe funding our schools, perhaps, can’t wait any more."

And what happened then . . . ?
Well, in Who-ville they say,
That the PPA's padded payroll
Got a little smaller that day.
And the minute its heart didn't feel quite so tight,
And the minute that the patronage load felt quite a bit light
It whizzed in with a cash dividend for the kids
To pay for the teachers to help them pass their next quiz
To pay for an art program that didn’t used to be
And help reduce a class size that was stuck at 33.

But this holiday season is no time for a fable
Not when the PPA refuses us a place at the table.
Call our state legislators and tell them what’s right.
Tell the PPA their reputation’s a fright!
Join the call for our schools --
The time is now.
Don’t wait for a story.
Let's show them how.