The Philadelphia web-site has a very simple answer to the long-overdue 311 system, it's the Help Me page. It's no substitute for a full 311 system, but, in the meantime, the idea is pretty good. Assign city staffers that can ferret out the answers to different questions emailed in to one central email address.

Good in theory, but it's never, in my experience, worked. It was there in the Street Administration and it is still there under Nutter. There doesn't seem to be any difference. The City should either make the HelpMe@phila.gov system an important part of several city staffers jobs and make sure they do it right, or they should take the web-page down. Having it and seeing how poorly it works just makes getting around City Government even more frustrating. It's almost as if they are laughing at us.

The first time I emailed HelpMe, I did get an answer.

It wasn't much of an answer, though. I own the two lots next to my house and they are fenced off and I and my neighbor park our cars on them. It's a good deal for our street, because two cars get off the somewhat limited street parking and we only need half the length of a car to maintain access to the space, leaving more space for everyone else.

The problem is, people park in front of the entrance all the time so we often can't get in, or, worse, out.

So I wrote in to find out how you get those stripes painted on your street that denote the fact that no one should park in front of the entrance to the gate. Can you just do it yourself? Do you have to pay someone? Do you have to get it licensed?

That was my question.

The answer I got (I'm not making this up) was: "Not sure! I do know you're responsible for the curb cuts, though."

Did I ask about curb cuts? In fact, that's already done. Thanks. How about maybe looking into the question for a minute rather than going off the top of your head? If the people who receive the Help Me questions can't be bothered to research them, then what's the point of having the system?